Well, this is going to be a rather busy month for me.

(I apologize for missing last week — I was pretty sick. I don’t know whether it was caused by my last chemo infusion, or if I caught a stomach bug, but I feel much better now.)

This Tuesday, I’m having a cardiac catheterization, an investigative measure because I was experiencing some tightness in my chest when I walked. My cardiologist, Dave Lawrence, wants to see if there’s anything serious going on.

I have passed an unwanted milestone. I now carry a tiny bottle of Nitro, like so many, ahem, older people. I will endeavor, you may be sure, to never have to use it. But it’s comforting to know it’s there if I need it.

Dr. Lawrence explained that, if necessary, a stent will be inserted during the cardiac cath and I’ll have to stay overnight. If not, they’ll keep me only long enough for the incision to heal, then send me home.

(UPDATE: My platelet count was too low to do the cardiac cath. We'll give it a try again next Tuesday, if my blood count improves.)

During the remainder of December, I’ll be seeing my oncologist, Marjan Koch,  my surgeon, Jeff Tomaszewski, and Lawrence again. I’ll be having pre-admission testing at Cooper University Hospital, and then, if all goes as scheduled, I’ll have cancer surgery on Dec. 28.

Oh, and, of course, Christmas is in there, as well.

I have steadfastly demonstrated by defiance is the face of my cancer diagnosis and that has not changed. But as surgery gets closer, I must admit — if I haven’t done so already — that I am scared to death.

The notion of at least eight hours of surgery and the resulting pain and recuperation, is quite frightening.

In the end, though, it’s less frightening than having cancer, so it will all work out just fine. When surgery is finished and I am cancer-free, all the fear and fighting will have been worth it.

And then comes the new year.