I feel really terrible.

I mean, here it is, September of the year 2015, a year and not quite two months away from the next presidential election, and I haven’t made fun of any of the losers who are spending gazillions of dollars already, ostensibly hoping to become the next Leader of the Free World.

I am not privy to the inner workings of presidential politics, so I’ve never known if the obvious losers actually realize from the beginning — as we all do — that they don’t stand a snowball’s chance in a pizza oven of coming close to winning. It’s clear that the candidates for the fringe parties — the Vegetarian Vegetable Party, the Green Beans Party, the Silly Putty Party — must understand they will never, ever win. They rarely have a chance of winning a local dog catcher election, yet they do run campaigns, spending good money for what? To make a point, I suppose. It’s frankly lost on me.

Of course, you must understand that I do not like politics and politicians. I have some friends and acquaintances who have run for or hold public office. I’m not sure why I still like them. I’ve told many of them that the esteem in which I hold them has lessened because of their political standing.

Look at all these Republican presidential candidates, for instance. I look at them as if they were conspiracy theories: a tiny bit of logic wrapped in a pound of crazy.  Each of the GOP candidates is majorly flawed. Everyone figured Donald Trump would be a two-time clown, but surprise! His clown car is running on high-octane fuel and lots of people are jumping on his campaign bus. The Donald may be a buffoon, but, hey! Just maybe he isn’t as fringe as we thought.

Speaking of losers, Chris Christie.  (That’s it. That’s the whole sentence.)

Losers and clowns aren’t exclusive to the GOP.  It was, at some point, a gimme that Hillary Clinton would be the next Democrat to run for the presidency. But now, with her campaign disintegrating all around her, I wonder if she’ll make it to the convention.

And Joe Biden. Everyone like Joe Biden, but nobody seems to respect him.

Personally, I don’t believe the President of the United States needs to know everything about everything. The Leader of the Free World needs, above all else, to be a leader. He can hire people who know everything about everything as advisors and make educated decisions based on their counsel.

Sadly, I see no real leaders among the candidates. Not yet.